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A hazard of driving they don't tell you about: severe back pain. Cause: driving too gangsta and far from the steering wheel. I am 60% crippled since about 2pm. (Oh. Yeah. I'm Danica Patrick.)

My mom's cute. She's "staying up" to see something on TV that starts at 12:30, but she can't keep her eyes open. So I figured I'd sit down here and wait for it to come on, and then I will run to her room and wake her up so she doesn't miss it. No matter what, I can't fall asleep before 3 now. Such is a symptom of this lifestyle. Not complaining especially.

The new Coke 20oz bottles are infuriating. Those stupid shallow caps, there is no possible way any being without nine opposable thumbs can close them on the first try. And those new 'eco-friendly' Poland Spring bottles that are made of 95% water weenie and buckle and fly out of your hand every time you go to grab some Hs and one O.

BOSTON MARKET SUMMERTIME BBQ. MUST TELL PITCHES.

I'm trying some new and inventive ways of getting exercise. Yoga DVD doesn't feel like it's effective, I feel slightly more calm but I think it's just from closing my eyes and getting sleepy (yes, I can, and will, sleep sitting on a hardwood floor in spandex). Cleaning, though, seems to be the frontrunner. Washing the top of the fridge is good for stretching, and then scrubbing out the bathtub was the cardio portion. The cool-down: sitting on the tiny wooden rocking horse in the porch and eating a well deserved ice pop- the exercise here comes from the rocking.



What is wrong with me that I'm not this glamorous? I don't know if it's even possible to do that at home, or if the goal is to make us feel like inferior females. I have enough trouble with a simple lowgrade blowout. I doubt I'd survive the head whipping. And who smiles when they do their hair? I'm usually in tears because it's six times the size I had hoped for, or I've ran the straightner through it so much that it smells like a tire factory. I'm doing really well with the current half bottle of spray gel and scrunching, thanks. Fine, don't bring me to the VMAs. They don't have any Pringles there anyway.

Comments

( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
phantomopus
Aug. 7th, 2008 11:55 pm (UTC)
Sorry! I missed the initial "friend this journal!" post during my move :o(
stoicdaydreamer
Aug. 9th, 2008 07:08 pm (UTC)
Ugh. Don't even mention volume in my presence. I have it in abundance. I was watching some supermodel show(seriously, why do we do this to ourselves) and one of the girls was catwalking down the runway, and in her voice-over she was saying how after so many years she's finally happy with her appearance. And I was like, if a five foot nine 115 pound girl isn't happy with how she looks, what do I have going for me?
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )

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